


All I Want

by littlenoona



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Homophobia, Infidelity, M/M, School, Slow Build, Underage - Freeform, Underage Larry, mentally ill, tags will be updated as the story is updated, underage ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlenoona/pseuds/littlenoona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the storm that was Harry's teen years, the only comfort and constant was Louis. </p><p>If you loved me, why'd you leave me? Take my body - all I want and all I need is to find somebody, I'll find somebody // All I Want - Kodaline</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a bit of an accident, and Louis, unknowingly, makes him feel better. // title credit: do me a favour - arctic monkeys 
> 
> cw/tw/warning: blood loss and physical harm (not self inflicted)

Harry didn't like gym much, either. To be honest, he thought it was all a little gross, really.

He had it on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, last period, and they were usually the worst parts of his week because all of his tormentors, save for Perrie, were in the same class with him.

Harry knew he was an easy target. He wasn't skinny and he wasn't fat but he had yet to lose his baby fat, soft tan cheeks still round when his dimples pressed into them. He didn't like sports and wasn't really good at much of anything physical (unlike Louis, who is threatening to become a teenage football sensation), and shied away from conflict or confrontation. Whenever someone threw a ball at him, he ran away because he was afraid of not catching it and getting hit in the face. Which, with his luck, was a real possibility. Not to mention the fact that he was so sensitive, and wore his heart on his sleeve, and took everything so personally and to the heart even if, by some odd miracle, it wasn't meant that way.

Still, he wished that his classmates didn't take advantage of these apparent weaknesses. He just didn't like gym very much because Nick's posse, Luke and Ashton, were also there, in addition to everyone else. In the locker room they usually pushed him, or stole his towel and clothes and forced him to walk around with two hands trying to preserve his modesty. In the shower room, they took his soap and shampoo and kept it out of reach. They were always calling him names and blowing kissy faces at him and just made him feel extremely uncomfortable. But Harry, being Harry, kind of just kept his complains to himself because he knew, as well as anyone else, that unless he was someone important, his teachers kind of really wouldn't care to do anything.

Harry could tolerate gym when they had free periods, because he got to walk around alone (which he was rather fond of, to be fair) and pick flowers and make himself bracelets and little crowns and stare at the sky and try to compare it to the blue hue of Louis' eyes. But that only happened once a month, if that, which meant that the rest of the gym periods were full of 'team activities' that left Harry fearing for his life half the time. The kids in his class were so aggressive, all the more so towards Harry, who was a docile little thing and somehow infuriated them because of said innate docility. He didn't know, and couldn't spend too much time dwelling on it because he was trying to avoid getting shoved into the ground or accidentally pushed into the fence.

Harry didn't know how he made it to the end of the week in one full piece, but he rather liked it that way, so he wasn't complaining.

It was Wednesday, and Harry had not heard from Louis at all since his last text. It made him sad, though it wasn't uncommon for Louis to go a few days without saying a word to him. Not because he was cross, or upset, or ignoring Harry. It was just that Louis was busy, after all. He was on the football team, did rugby too, and was also a peer tutor. Still, albeit a bit selfishly, Harry missed him greatly and would have liked to have occupied more attention than he actually did.

That day, the class was playing baseball out on the muddy old diamond behind the school. It had been raining, so the grass was soft, there were puddles everywhere, and it smelled damp, like mildew. His nose twitched, and he hoped, futilely, that his allergies wouldn't act up.

Harry was in the outfield, holding his mitt awkwardly as he shivered with the passing breeze. It was too cold to be outside still, but Mr. Johnson wasn't having it. He had to work on his tan, after all. Harry tried to push the thoughts of Louis away as he tried to focus on the task at hand. He couldn't, and instead saw, again, the blue of his eyes in the skies overhead and found myself smiling stupidly he thought about the gold smattering of freckles on his cheeks and nose.

So it was no surprise when Harry ended up getting smacked right in the nose with a flying baseball, going down like a sack of potatoes. He didn't realize what happened until he was flat on his back, tasting the metallic blood on his lips and teeth. He felt the earth squish beneath his body as the mud soaked through his shorts and shirt, even getting on the back of hands as he tried not to slip and stand up. Mr. Johnson, at least, had stopped his preening long enough to see what happened, and for once stuck up for Harry.

This was a double edged sword.

On one side, the kid who threw the ball - Nick, of all people - was going to get in trouble. That meant (more) meetings with the principal and his parents, detention and maybe even a suspension for Nick. He'll get to go to the nurse, be excused from gym and even picked up early from school, even though school's over in almost half an hour anyway. Those are the pros. The cons, however, are many. If he went home early, his mum was going to be upset, Robin would worry, and they'd argue about Harry moving schools, again. He would have to talk about it during session with Dr. Horan on Friday after school, which he was already dreading. Staying with Louis or seeing him at all that weekend would probably be out of the question. Monday would roll around and he would have to explain to everyone what happened, not that they'd believe him. The incident would only add snitch to the ever growing list of names people teased him with.

The gym teacher made everyone go inside as he barked at Harry to keep his head tilted back. Mr. Johnson kept him at arms' length so Harry wouldn't get blood on his track suit. (He was a grown chav, made Harry want to gag, but at least he was trying to help, which was more than Harry could say about the rest of his teachers.) After getting a teacher to watch the class, Mr. Johnson dropped Harry off at the nurses office, marching down to the principal's office with Nick, already yelling and getting red in the face.

The nurse eyed Harry with a soft smile and helped him clean up with gentle hands. They'd become good friends ever since Harry almost chipped a tooth against the driers in the loo on the third floor. He tried to eat lunch in her office whenever she could. She was comforting and nurturing, big brown eyes and soft curls pinned back with bobby's, always dressed modestly but stylish.

(She was also openly very gay, engaged to her long time girlfriend, Leigh-Anne. While Harry didn't exactly know what he was, he found comfort in the fact that Ms. Thirlwall was so comfortable and happy with herself, and wished that, whatever he decided he was, he could be like that too.)

"What was it this time?" Ms. Thirlwall asked, dabbing at Harry's cheeks with a cool washcloth, scrubbing the dried blood away.

"A baseball." She raised a carefully arched eyebrow, pink lips in a small, sympathetic frown. He didn't say much else, thanked her quietly when she finished helping him look somewhat human again. She offered him some cookies and orange juice because he looked pale, then sat down to call Robin. They had talked enough so that she knew that he'd rather Robin be called instead of his mum, even though Robin would immediately call his wife afterwards regardless.

Harry's had a bit of an accident, Mr. Twist - hm - yes, he's okay, he's just shaken - no, I don't know, sorry - no I'll be here all afternoon until four, okay, bye.

His mum came instead of Robin, and it definitely made Harry feel a lot worse. He wasn't aware he could feel much worse, given how much blood had gotten over his clothes and the throbbing in the middle of his face. She thanked the nurse with one of her fake smiles and all but dragged Harry to the car, shooting him a look as she murmured something about not getting her seats dirty.

"Are you not adjusting well, Harry? Are you not trying? We can't keep doing this. Your stepfather and I have jobs and lives and we can't drop everything at a moment's notice just because you're provoking your classmates. Why don't you try to be more sociable? They aren't going to want to like you if you have your nose in a book all the time. They pick on you because you're letting them," she sighed, shaking her head. Because, according to his mum, something Harry was doing was so upsetting to people he didn't even speak to, and that's why he was being picked on. It was his fault. Of course. He closed his eyes, struggling to ignore the stinging behind them. He wants to call Louis, wants Louis to come over so they can play video games and forget about how much everything sucks.

Harry didn't say a word, simply sat and stared at the ceiling of the car (he hadn't stopped bleeding, but it was a manageable trickle that was almost gone). Once she was done going in on Harry, she started going off about Robin, which made Harry sad. He liked Robin, and he didn't want Robin to go because he was, with the exception of Ms. Thirlwall, the only adult who actually cared about him and tried to make sure he was okay.

Robin had bought her a new car because she went out with her girlfriends one night, got drunk, and smashed her other one - a convertible they'd bought to celebrate their first anniversary when Harry was all but five years old. The new car had to be an SUV too, because his mum didn't 'feel safe' without a big hulking gas guzzling car. He filled her tank every week too, even though she had a nice cushy job as a teacher's assistant at the university fifteen minutes out of town. When they pulled into the driveway, he took his bag with him and walked into the house, ignoring her as she barked about not walking away while she was still talking to him.

Harry's feet carried him heavily up the steps, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and then he's in his room, throwing himself on his bed. He cried because he wishes his step dad had picked him up instead of her, because he didn't want to go to therapy the day after tomorrow, because school was only going to be worse now, because he hated this, feeling like this, because Harry missed him so damn much.

His computer, ancient, hulking thing that it is, chimed quietly. Harry sat up and stared at it, grabbing his glasses off the floor. There's a message notification in the corner of the screen. He clicked it, moving the mouse a little.

It was, of all people, Louis. His icon was, of course, him, grinning cheekily at the webcam Harry knew sat right above his new laptop, a Christmas/birthday present from his older sister and his parents.

 _from_ : _**tommoninetyone@hotmail.com**_  
 _to_ : _**hazzastyles@hotmail.com**_

  
October 3, 2009  
2:58 PM  
Subject: nobody puts baby in a corner

  
 _hey h!_  
 _sry 4 the radio silence but skool has been lame like usual. plus footie and stuff. u.u_  
 _how r u? good i hope! miss u a lot but been busy so yeah sry ):_  
 _anyway practice cancelled this weekend bc the pitch got flood bc of rain, so i'm picking u up w/ andrew friday nite!!! hope ur ready 4 a wild weekend ;) mom & dad r going out 4 one of their yoga things so we can watch rated R movies instead of that pg-13 stuff. and andrew said he'll let us watch the hills have eyes! r u excited or wut?_  
 _(mom talked 2 ur dad and he said u can stay over soo no worries, ok?)_  
 _cya soon! luv u hazza  hope 2 see u soon <3_  
 _\- lou_

Harry was crying by the end of the email, but they were happy tears, pink lips spreading in a happy smile as he looked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! wow. hello. here's an update! a little short, but there it is. i have the next three chapters written and the one i'm writing now is kind the beginning of where things get kind of interesting. sort of. hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, thank you so much for the kudos and feedback! please let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions or critiques. c: // find me on tumblr! magicalgyal @ tumblr

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything except all original characters and the plot.


End file.
